(And the antidote to that sickness).

I’m here. At the computer, my ‘Winter Park’ candle lit, and the cursor blinking. Waiting for the first words in a month and a half to be recorded.

Whoops.

What kept me away, you may ask? Besides the craziness of November and December’s holiday schedules and the general creative paralyzation I usually fight when stress is high, it boils down to a little thing I’ll call:

The idol of personal development.

Anyone else struggle with this brand of obsession? Spending every ‘free’ moment searching for the gurus, blogs, courses, books, or certifications that will make life smoother, smarter, calmer, or more profitable?

Now: I genuinely love learning. But what I’m talking about is not a healthy hunger for and enjoyment or knowledge. It’s the equivalent of a crazed midnight binge on everything in my pantry versus savoring a nourishing meal.

And it’s been exhausting.

I’ve noticed this before during seasons where I am longing for change. Desperate for wisdom and help, I’ve had seasons of buying all the parenting books or spending hours combing through videos and blogs for someone I can relate to sharing something that might help.

And I have been living with a longing so powerful I can sometimes feel it pressing down on my actual heart.

What I need is for God to provide. To lead. To give wisdom.

And while I have been trying to carve out time to sit with him and pour out my desires and fears and frustrations in my journal, the time I spend frantically searching the internet for answers is telling.

I know there’s a balance to be had when you’re waiting for God. He wants total dependence, but sometimes that looks like taking steps of faith.

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Thankfully, some of my ‘gurus’ have helped to correct my frantic posture. I ordered two booklets from Praxis Labs — not because I necessarily have plans to become an entrepreneur, but because I pretty much want to consume everything Andy Crouch produces. The first one, A Rule of Life for Redemptive Entrepreneurs, lays out practices for 6 areas of life: time, money, imagination, decision-making, power, and community.

Listen to the summary of the Rule for time: “Instead of endless productivity, we practice a rhythm of work and rest, attending to our need to grow in all the dimensions of being human: heart, soul, mind, and strength. We commit to take one full day every week for complete rest from our daily work, and to make Sabbath possible for everyone within our sphere of authority.”

Before they present the Rules, they offer this prayer —

Help us, God, to live in the abundance for which you made us, and to bring that abundance to every part of your world.

As I’ve metabolized that prayer this week, I’m realizing abundance is the antidote to this brand of idolatry (perhaps all forms of idolatry?).

When I remember that my God is a God of abundance, I don’t have to frantically search for what I need. I can recognize that my need feels great, but that God is greater.

Do I need wisdom? His has unsearchable depths. (Romans 11:33-34)

Do I need protection? The shadow of His wing is a sure and steady refuge. (Psalm 36:7)

Do I need someone I can rely on? His steadfast love extends to the heavens and His faithfulness to the clouds. (Psalm 36:5)

Do I fear I don’t have enough time, money, skills, energy, connections, etc.? God’s people can “feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.”

That kind of abundance is found with God alone, my friends. Not with google or gurus.

…

Maybe you, like me, need a prayer for 2024. I plan to borrow the one from Praxis and I invite you to join me:

Help us, God, to live in the abundance for which you made us, and to bring that abundance to every part of your world.

Maybe you, like me, need a Psalm to help anchor your heart in God’s kingdom of abundance:

5 Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,
    your faithfulness to the clouds.
⁶ Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;
    your judgments are like the great deep;
    man and beast you save, O Lord.

⁷ How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
    The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house,
    and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
⁹ For with you is the fountain of life;
    in your light do we see light.

¹⁰ Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you,
    and your righteousness to the upright of heart!

Psalm 36: 5-10

We were made to feast and drink and rest and bask and share. May 2024 be a year of abundance.

Amen.

Happy New Year, friends!